Hunting The Moon Phases
What do you think of this poem?
“These Silly Things”
Daylight burning; I look to the sky.
I wonder why its caught my attention.
The sun and moon trade vicious glares;
The Earth feels this tension.
Sleepy eyes; Star gazing dreams
My imagination is a universe.
Jupiter is dancing, along with Mars;
As the comets rehearse.
Neptune is alone and Orion calls its name.
Earth hunts for life; but do we hunt in vain?
Pluto plays its sorrowful phase;
As Saturn tries to sing.
The sun has laughed and the moon watches
As we all try to believe
…..in these silly things.
Should I make it longer?
I’m sorry I reposted this, its actually a pet peeve of mine.
But I thought up another line, thats in the middle. I thought it’d be confusing to add to the previous question.
I think this is better. You added more depth to it. If you want to make it longer go ahead you have a whole universe to write about. Write what you feel. I think it is fine now, but it won’t hurt to add more if you want. I like the fact that you reposted because I get to see the whole piece again instead of just what you added. It helps to see how it comes together.
Janelle Monae – Violet Stars Happy Hunting / Many Moon Live at the 2008 Afro-Punk Festival
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